Tuesday, October 21, 2014

More Than Just Me : The Doctors and Ashley

My doctor.   I grew up with my doctor in a small town. I was best friends with her little sister growing up and I remember how cool I thought she was.  When she came to work at my hospital, I immediately started going to her as a patient.  She has a calm way about her which balances out my crazy ideas which only got crazier when I was pregnant.  With both my girls, I was induced in the morning and they were born around suppertime. They were textbook labors and everything went great.  When we discovered we lost Ricky, her office was the first place we went to after.  She consoled us and truly was heart broken for us.  With Lydon, I wanted to experience natural labor and boy did I get it.  I awoke at 1am and had him by 4:02 am with absolutely no medication.  Dr. R showed up after being awoken from her slumber to deliver my chunky little boy and did it all with a smile.  Then there was Holden.  From the first ultrasound showing a small bleed to finding out I had placenta previa, she was my voice of reason.  I tried to stay calm but every now and then, I would get nervous.  She always answered my questions and told me that everything would be okay.  Why wouldn't it be?  Besides Ricky, I had textbook pregnancies and labors.  I figured one loss was all I would experience in my life.  I never thought I would lose my baby one week before he was to be born.  I bet the thought never crossed her mind, either.  I remember how excited she was  towards the end and she would say that she bet he would have a ton of hair like Boo Boo.  She truly plays a large role in our lives.  She helped bring all my babies into this world.  I cherish the fact that a woman I admired growing up has helped me along my greatest journey in life as I became a mother. 

And who better to assist Dr. R in the clinic than my dear friend Ashley who I have known for over a third of my life.  We used to work together when we were teenagers growing into young adults and we had such an amazing bond.  What a beautiful soul whom I have had the pleasure of sharing my pregnancies with as well as her own with her two precious babies.  The first time I saw her after we lost Holden, she wept.  I wept.  We cried together for the utter sadness that surrounded us.  I should have been bringing my baby boy in to be weighed and oogled over.  Instead, I sat in the waiting room plugging my ears trying to muffle the newborn cries coming from two chairs down.  Ashley has been a true, dear friend and I am so blessed to have shared my happy and sad moments with her.  She truly is an amazing person.     

Dr. H.  Many people do not know but we had troubles getting pregnant before Ricky.  We never struggled before so I was truly heartbroken as each month passed by and the tests continued to be negative.  I finally went to Dr. H with my concerns and she was determined to "fix me" as she put it.  I could tell that she took my concerns seriously and would do everything in her power to help me.  Eventually, we became pregnant with Ricky but his time with us was short.  I saw Dr. H while pregnant with Holden as there was a possibility I would need a c-section.  Ever the optimist, she scheduled a "Hail Mary" ultrasound one week before my scheduled c-section.  She hoped that things would have changed and I could have a natural labor.  I had my c-section the same day that ultrasound was scheduled.   Dr. H tells me that when she came into the exam room the night we found out that Holden had passed, she asked if there was anything she could do for us.  I was in such a daze and do not remember much but she will always remember me asking her to give us another outcome.  She has told me that hearing that broke her heart as she wished she could have fixed it.

Both doctors stayed in OB as I labored overnight and was then rushed to surgery.  I could not imagine anyone else bringing my beautiful boy into this world.   They were just as confused as we were.  "He was perfect" was the most common words spoken.  I will never truly understand why my Holden was taken from us but I had such amazing support from my doctors.  The day I went home, I overheard a baby crying in the room next to me.  It had just been born.  Not 30 minutes later, Dr. H came into my room and embraced me on the couch where I was sobbing.  She cried with me and for me. 

Not many people can say that they have unrelenting support from their physicians and here I have had it from both of mine and continue to have it as I learn this new way of life.  I have been blessed from day one.  My heart is forever grateful.

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