Babies Gone Too Soon, Inc. What an amazing organization created through love that extends to the Heavens. I joined this group shortly after it was started. Created by four grieving mothers, their mission is to create an environment for others to share their stories, share their tears and honor all those babies who left us far too soon. Not only are they dedicated to giving a voice to our angels, they also have been tirelessly creating a system within our community to ensure that bereaved families get appropriate care and resources when they need it most. Their hard work and dedication gave my family the best possible care after we lost Holden. From the hospital care package to giving us support to checking in on us regularly, they have truly made a difficult situation a little more bearable. You will hear us Angel Mommas often say that this is a club you do not want to join but you are grateful it is there when you need it. The gifts these four women have given are beyond compare. Their heart's work has brought peace to so many through their sweet angels' legacy.
Through the support meetings and events, I have met some of the bravest and most inspiring women. Don't get me wrong, the other family members and friends are pretty amazing but these Mommas know exactly what my heart has gone through. When I feel like I am going crazy, they let me know they have been there, that every emotion I feel is normal. This journey is not easy and having someone to walk alongside you and understand every little thing you experience is an absolute blessing. These Mommas hold a very special place in my heart, so deep it will never fade. Rhonda and Meg and the loss of their little ones struck me so deeply as it was so similar to my loss of Ricky. Amanda and her love for sweet Cilla is such a treasure to witness. Mindy and her little ladybug Adalynn makes my heart ache as I still remember where I was when I found out and what I felt- utter heartbreak. There have been so many moms who have shared their stories and with each story, our hearts heal a little more knowing we are not alone.
After my induction was started and we had a moment to let everything process, I started to panic. What was I going to do once he was born? How was I going to make it through the next few hours, days, months? I felt a wave of helplessness as this is not what anyone would be prepared for. In the morning, I had 3 angels walk into my room. Their very presence brought a small sense of peace to my broken heart. They were proof that I would make it out of this hell. Amy- Momma to handsome Jackson, Brenda- Momma to sweet Lauren and Morgan- Momma to precious Hadlee. They embraced me with the sadness only they could know. I watched as they each took turns holding my boy. I could see the sadness in their eyes as they thought of their precious angels and the journey I was about to begin. They told me their stories in greater detail than I have ever heard before. They shared how they coped and what they did in the first few days and weeks. They gave me the advice that I was yearning for. They gave me hope. Liz- Momma to beautiful Ruby, came later that day with a care package. She embraced me and we unleashed a flood of tears. She held my boy and gazed at him. Liz's loss is the freshest of the four. She lost Ruby right before Xmas in 2012. I remember seeing her at the first Babies Gone Too Soon walk and was amazed at how strong she was. I know how much Angel Momma’s hate to hear they are strong because we don't always feel like we are but to get up each day with an ever present heartache and carry on takes a strength that only a few possess.
In the months since Holden left us, I have been blessed with meeting other Angel Mommas who bring some sanity to this crazy "new normal". Jane lost sweet Michael the day after Holden and her words and support has been amazing. Lisa, whose beautiful Robby has brought happiness to so many who have lost a precious little one through Robby's Rabbits. Karen, whose sweet Lily brought her Momma to me. Sarah and Alia, both Mommas to sweet Ella angels. Sweet Tylynn and her beautiful Devalynn born just weeks after my Holden. I see the love these Mommas extend beyond what we thought was humanly possible. Our lives, our hearts are forever changed. I feel a thousand times richer having met all these amazing women. Holden and Ricky brought them to me and this is my silver lining. Such sadness brings forth unbreakable bonds. I am so blessed to have met each and every one of them ♡
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