The cousins. Life's first friends. Only cousins, besides your siblings, can truly understand your family because they were stuck right in the middle of the craziness with you. I was blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of cousins. Having been the oldest on my dad's side and 3rd oldest on my mom's, I got to watch my cousins grow from little kids to amazing adults. Some have gotten married and some have even became parents. Some are engaged and some are just starting their adult lives. What an honor it has been to be able to watch these transitions and to be able to share my life with them, good and bad. Nothing in this world can compare to the bond of cousins. We have been blessed to not have had many tragedies in our lives. Yes, there have been a few but we have always come out stronger than before.
I found myself struggling with how to move forward from the loss of Holden. I had so many family members comfort us but the pain is still there waiting to make its presence known when you least expect it. Since most of my cousins are within the same life era as us, I found great comfort in seeing their joy. It is a reminder that life still has its happy moments. They just knew what to say and when to step in, a skill earned from a lifetime of love. I see that love with their children while they grow up with mine.
Bill grew up with his nieces and nephews since he was a bit younger than his siblings. These amazing kids who I was blessed to become their aunt and they have been amazing cousins to our earthly trio. We have 3 beautiful girls among a ton of wild boys. I know Holden would have loved to hang out with all the boys and get spoiled by the girls. They would have all been best friends as cousins are. Holden would have had little cousins ,too, with my great-nephews and great-nieces. How I would have loved to see them together.
With the holidays coming up I know that our family get together will bring a new wave of sadness. How I enjoy spending time with family. As I watch the little ones and the happiness they bring, I know that my smile will hide a deep ache within my heart for I will never feel these moments are complete. There will always be a piece missing....
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