Lydon, my rainbow baby. We got pregnant with Lydon about two months after we lost Ricky. I was excited and absolutely terrified but he came into this world and stole our hearts. I have struggled with how to talk to Lydon about Holden. I was excited to give him a brother and watch them grow up together. He would point at my belly and say "baby". His sweet, unscathed mind lets him go about his day without the sadness that the girls carry. Funny thing is, he seems to have developed a relationship with Olden, as he calls him (sounds adorable without the 'H'). He asks to kiss Holden's urn every night and talks to his stuffed "Holden puppy" that my dear friend Amy gave to all the kids. Yesterday, he went up to an angel figurine, pointed at it and said "Olden" clear as day. I know he sees his brother. I can tell he knows there is something missing. My heart aches knowing that he will miss his brothers even more as he grows up. It is almost like he knew he had to create a distraction for all of us. This confirmed Daddy's boy has even asked for his Momma from time to time. His personality has blossomed in the last 3 months. In a way, I feel like Lydon gives me a chance to watch Holden grow up. I imagine they would be such little trouble makers together. The thing about Lydon is he gives me hope that even when life gets tough, there will always be joy. My beautiful son who's baby brother is a spitting image of him. Even at 18 months old, he experienced an incredible loss that he will not truly realize until years from now; although, I am sure Holden is comforting him in ways we will never know. What a blessing this beautiful little boy is. He truly has my heart right alongside his brothers ♡♥♡
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